I am sick to my stomache this evening. After everything that has happened, I find out this evening that my son's father has been communicating with his wife. I shouldn't be surprised, however I am sickened that she is communicating with him after the nature of what he has done.
It gives me a whole new picture of how emotionally sick both of them really are. The fact that she hid his crime for as long as she did and now that she is continuing to talk with him just is so sick. I cannot fathom the depths of emotional sickness that would compell her to maintain that relationship.

It just reaffirms to me the importance for me to move out of the area and use the courts as a resource to prevent this man or his family from contacting us again in the future. I am so disgusted at the level of depravity exhibit by not only him but his wife. This woman, if one can call her that, is a mother, an aunt, a grandmother and first by hiding his actions from law enforcement allowed him to possibly continue to be a danger to society, her DIRECT inaction put so many at risk and then now maintaining contact with him.

I do not understand the justice system... while they are taking appropriate action against this man for his crimes, she is out running the streets, getting handouts from various charities and churches because poor thing has been left without her man... and she ENDANGERED so many. It just sickens me.

I know it is unhealthy for me to sit and think about this situation. I think back to what my Mom went through almost 19 years ago and what my daughter went through several years ago and now this? There is a part of me that just wants to isolate me and my babies in a far away place where no one can hurt us again.

My poor kids... I brought this horrifying man into their lives. I made another child with this man. I allowed him in my heart and family and the devistation he has wreaked on us is sometimes overwhelming. Although I love my son with every last fiber of my being and know what a true blessing he is, there is a part of me that regrets that he came from this union. It is somethingI will have to live with.

I think sometimes, what happens in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years when the boy wants to know about his father? What am I suppose to tell my baby? My therapist recommended age appropriate explanations... Even so, it is going to be difficult. I am not looking forward to those questions or explanations. Making it a little more complicated is that his siblings are so much older than he is and because they have been victimized by the things this man has done, they may feel they need to tell my son more than what I would. Of course there is also the thing about if we stay here in my home town.

People here gossip and he may hear the gossip about his father at some point. I had to tell my daughter about a situation in her life because a vile hateful person decided to pass judgement and say something that I knew would get back to her eventually. So she and I talked about it and thankfully she understood and had a really good adjustment to the situation. Of course now, I can see that in some ways, it was a GOD thing that the evil person did what she did. It turned into one of those blessings in disguise and had paved the way to me being able to see a wonderful relationship blossom where once there was no relationship.

Well any way I am off to snuggle and cuddle with my little guy...