Good Evening Friends and Family

I haven't wrote here much because life has been good for the most part. Not much in the way of troubling thoughts...

However...

I had an interaction today with someone and it has me aggitated and in a foul mood.

A person who knows my son's father was asking if I had heard anything about what is happening with him. As I tell everyone, NO, Ihaven't heard and I really don't want to hear. Unless there is something happening that is going to directly affect me or my children I could care less what happens to that man. As far as I am concerned he is dead and I never want to have anything to do with him.

This person asked me if I was going to let my little man see his Dad when Dad gets out. "Hell no" was my answer. I then got a lecture how he wasn't a threat to a boy child and I was being unreasonable...

UNFRIGGIN REAL!

Unreasonable? This man perpetrated CRIMES against children. I do not care of "child erotica" is not considered illegal~ it should be and in my opinion the fact that he had in his possession pictures of my baby girl in sexually explicit positions, just because she had underwear on, did not make it any less of a crime against my child.

As long as I have breath in my body and control over my child the man will NEVER see his son NEVER EVER NEVER EVER. And if that makes me a bad person than oh too fucking bad~ I am a bad person. I will NOT forget the damage this man did to my children. I may go to hell for not forgetting and if that is the case... well then that is the case. If God wants to hold me accountable for not forgetting that this man VIOLATED the innocence of children...

I can forgive him by not seeking revenge. I will not however provide him an opportunity to EVER hurt one of my children again. I will burn in hell if that is what is expected of me. I will do what I can, within my means to ensure my children are safe.

I have already spoke to an attorney and I know that I have many options available to me to protect my girls and my son beyond the restraining order. I will be taking the actions needed to protect my children. If it means that I move to another country all together to prevent his having any contact, then that is what I will do.

I was going over some videos and pictures the other day and came very close to hitting delete. Then I thought about it...

For my son, the only thing he will ever have of his father will be those few sound bites before he turned 4 months old and the pictures. It will be a careful balancing act for me to let him know that his Daddy loved him but his Daddy is not safe for him to be around.

I sit here tonight in tears... knowing that because of my choice to have the affair with this man and then his choice to harm children, mean that our son will be affected all the days of his life... the sins of the father truly are passed down to the next generation....